This thing called love! It’s the aspect of life we are most likely to get in a right pickle over. Since the first moment we were born, we have been on a constant quest to feel loved by those around us. In our initial few weeks on earth, we cried out for the attention of our parents and carers. We had to. Babies depend on love.
Mary Carlson, a Neurobiologist at Harvard Medical School measured stress in children in Romanian orphanages and found that love and touch were as vital to the healthy development of infants as food and water. Not surprising that we make such a big deal over it then!
Throughout our lives we will fall in and out of love many times — not just with others but also with ourselves. As much as we want the sense of being loved to be a permanent fixture in our lives, holding onto love is rather like grasping water — and the tighter your hold, the more it slips through your fingers.
We have probably all experienced the dark and empty feelings that accompany an absence of love. Not a place anyone would choose to inhabit. A lack of affection feels so terrible that we can act in unexpected ways all in the name of love. I for one can recount tales of staying in relationships well past their expiry date because the fear of releasing the last remnants of love filled me with dread. A poor exchange of love seemed a better option than no love. And you probably know many other stories of people staying in abusive or destructive relationships because the fear of letting go keeps them stuck.
We talk about love as though we know what it is but how often are we actually settling for approval or recognition instead? That’s why neglected children act out — it’s as close as they can get to some kind of love. In the absence of nothing, they will settle for any kind of attention, even if it is negative.
But true love isn’t any of those things. The love we really seek has no conditions or limits. It’s a love that exists without any need for justification or reason. It’s the love that some will first experience when they are bowled over by a soulmate or hold their newborn child and realise that there is nothing that would not do to protect and care for this bundle of preciousness. But real love doesn’t require anyone else. We don’t love someone because of their appealing characteristics. We love because that is who we are at our very core. In fact, our love for them is really the projection of our own soul. In other words, their presence brings out our loving nature. All love starts with self-love.
In a culture that values competition and results, love is often seen as the soft and fluffy stuff. We pay it lip service but in the heat of the battle, how quickly it is relegated to the sidelines. In the face of anger or confrontation, we are much more likely to take arms or defend ourselves aggressively than stay connected to our loving heart. But we can’t be objecting to any aspect of life and still be connected to unconditional love.
In fact, every problem and niggle we ever face can be traced back to a lack of connection to love. Don’t believe me? Follow the trail and you will see what I mean!
So there is a very good reason why we should value true love in our lives.
Love exceeds everything else. Every issue can be resolved through a loving nature. When we don’t know what to do, our heart will guide us and, given the opportunity, love will make always make the right choices.
Unconditional love is the ultimate path to joy, peace and contentment. When we commit to living a life of love, we tap into the most powerful, most healing, most transformative energy in the world. Make your connection to love your highest priority and your life is guaranteed to improve. When you fall in love with the moment, every moment will bring you home to you.