When I wrote my book, From Pursuit to Presence, I wasn’t really aware of the massive journey I was embarking on.
I knew I was fed up of feeling like a hamster on someone else’s wheel. I knew I was tired of the endless struggle to make things happen, only to have to face up to disappointment and dejection when my best laid plans didn’t come to fruition. And I knew I was lonely – not the a loneliness of absent friends or family but a more pervasive sense of isolation that left my heart feeling empty and my mind disengaged from life.
It began as a small niggle, like a small stone in my shoe, that got more and more noticeable until I couldn’t ignore it any more. Now, I am grateful for that discomfort, because in exploring the source, it revealed how my personal struggles were really misconceptions, originating in the rules of our current society.
I set about challenging them personally. I no longer wanted to be answerable to conditioned beliefs that may not be valid or true in my own experience. And I found there were four big myths that dominated, but didn’t serve, me or my life
The Big Four:
Pursuit: There’s this misplaced idea that we have to strive for some illusionary perfection. Work hard, do the right thing, measure up and happiness will be your reward. Do you feel it? Do you notice the dull ache of living a life of comparison and competition? Do you find yourself questioning “do I have enough?“, “am I enough“? The saddest part of spending a life driving for your goals is the discovery that you still aren’t fulfilled when you get there.
Conformity: One of the basic human needs is the desire to belong. We want the feeling of being part of something greater because it reminds us of the all-loving, all-knowing place from which we were born (call it love, God, Source Energy or the Quantum Field). So from a young age, we are willing to do what it takes to be included. We want to be good girls and boys so that those around us, especially authority figures will praise and validate us.We learn to look outside of our selves for approval. We lose touch with our own inner voice and wisdom. We become victims of conformity. Conformity kills off our uniqueness and our alignment with our core values. When we are too busy trying to fit in, our magnificence can’t stand out.
Complexity: Pursuit and conformity lead to complexity. As we struggle to prove ourselves and to create our visions of perfection, we create a burden of complexity that traps rather than fulfils us. All of these mores? Will they really bring you the peace, contentment and joy you crave? Or will you spend more time reordering, fixing and juggling all of the demands on your time and energy?
Disconnection: We are so embroiled in our complexities that we lose sight of what is most important. We spend more time at work than with our loved ones. We don’t have enough time for compassion or kindness. We are quick to judge others for their flaws – they are lazy, dumb or just plain wrong. And we live with the consequences of being disconnected from each other: conflict, road-rage, war. We have lost touch with the present moment, projecting our lives into some imagined and improved future or replaying and regurgitating our past. We are disconnected from our hearts and each other. the end result is a sense of loneliness or emptiness.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
We can make a decision to live more simply, break the rules, know our worth and create more joy. We can examine our own lives and surrender that which is unnecessary or burdens us down. We can challenge the myths and misconceptions that we were taught when we were too young to understand the impact of these beliefs. You are older and wiser now. You know what matters to you. Re-condition yourself. We can reach out and connect to others, build relationships and community whoever and wherever we are. And we can reach inwards and tune into our own unique voice, the voice of our spirit. This is the source of wisdom and love. Everything is simpler and more straightforward when we are aligned and connected to our deepest truth.
If you would like to discover more about my personal journey through this myths, From Pursuit to Presence is available in kindle format (right now at the special price of £2.99) and paperback on Amazon.