Do you believe in yourself? I don’t mean the “yeah I suppose I am ok” type of flimsy confidence! I mean the true unwavering trust, faith and self-belief in who you are. I wonder how many of could say that we never experience moments of self-doubt or crises in confidence. Life tends to throw us a curve ball or two along the way that may plunge us into self-questioning and analysis which isn’t always helpful.
Whenever I hear people hold themselves back with their limiting patterns of thought, I am always curious about what the real issue is. Well disguised thoughts like “I couldn’t do that“or “that isn’t possible for me” usually translate into the real meaning of “I don’t know if I am capable enough” or “I don’t think I am intelligent enough“. Probe a little deeper and we always seem to end up arriving at the same underlying belief… “I am not good enough!”
So here is the breaking news… That belief is absolute poppycock! And it usually comes from our fear-based ego that wants to keep us safe in our comfort-zones. It worries about what might happen if we step out and express the truth of who we are. It can present countless examples as evidence of when our self-expression has led to a bad experience. Maybe we were laughed at, ridiculed, criticised or judged. There is a part of us that is scared and frightened of repeating unwanted experiences and so our ego would much prefer us to play it small, step back and shut up!
There’s just one flaw in that strategy. Our comfort zones aren’t static. If every time we approach the boundaries of familiarity, we pull back, then those walls start to close in. Before we know it, that comfort zone has become an ever decreasing and confining box that starts to feel claustrophobic.
There is only one thing we can do. We need to take the hand of our fearful ego, take a deep breath and go for it anyway! Then, not only do we keep expanding our comfort zones, but we also start to realise that all of the fears were unfounded anyway. If all goes well, you get a big boost to the ol’ confidence and self-belief. If all goes belly-up.. well maybe you’ll be laughed at and ridiculed or fall flat on your face… but you know what, you’ll get through it. You can pick yourself up, dust yourself down and feel the pride of knowing that you went for it anyway. I think a toddler learning to walk could teach us a thing or two about that!
Today I interviewed the wonderful Jules Wyman, Founder of The Confidence Garden. Jules is just one of the world-class guest presenters for the Your Life Two Programme starting on 20th February. Having spent most of her life living in self-doubt and no confidence, Jules has trodden the path to self-confidence and believes that confidence is possible for anyone looking for it! Visit her website http://www.theconfidencegarden.com. Your Life Two is for women who are stuck or facing big changes in their lives to help them to create their inspired life and find the happiness they deserve. To find out more visit the information page: http://www.yourlifetwo.com