I am currently guest-blogging a series of articles for Initiation Workshops. In this series we are looking at the different approaches to moving into a truly heart centred way of being. We are discovering that inner peace and bliss are our birthright and as we clear the blocks in our heart, we reconnect with our true essence.
Having explored acceptance and forgiveness, we now find ourselves on the third part of the journey, the path of letting go.
Letting go is an essential step to connecting to our bliss. It is the equivalent of arriving at life’s check-in desk only to find we are carrying too much baggage. As the clerk advises us of the fees for the excess we are carrying, we begin to realise the price we are paying for travelling heavy. It’s time to ditch the complications and simplify our lives. To live a life of contentment and joy, we need space.
There is a degree of irony that the subject of letting go requires exploration and even some techniques to help us. If you were holding a pencil and I asked you let it go, I’m guessing it would cause you no issue.
But surrendering our attachments in life is not so straightforward especially when we have invested energy and emotion into something significant. It is the reason why a person can’t leave an abusive or lifeless relationship or an unfulfilling job. We may know it no longer serves us. We may even know it is damaging or hurting us but admitting that we are continuing down a dead end path may just be too much to bear. Like the addicted gambler, we think that one more spin of the wheel may help us recuperate what we have lost rather than walking away and accepting the gifts of learning from the experience.
We have to understand that letting go means total surrender. Letting go is not rowing furiously against the flow of the river. Letting go is not even releasing the oars but keeping one hand on the rudder. Letting go is the willingness to surrender to life’s experiences. To want exactly what life brings to your door.
So let’s explore some of the ways in which we can develop our ability to surrender completely:
- Letting go of the struggle
Very few of us survived childhood without buying into the idea that life is hard work. Even now, well-meaning parents, teachers and authority figures still convey the message that we achieve results through effort. This belief sets us up for a lifetime of struggle.
So here is the con we all fell for – life is actually meant to be easy. In fact, it is easy; it is only the complexities we create for ourselves that makes it ever seem difficult or challenging.
These complexities come from our own expectations. We believe that life should be a certain way, and when it doesn’t measure up, we feel disappointed, frustrated, mad or sad. Letting go of the struggle means letting go of the expectations that life should be any different to how it is.
When you stop resisting reality and begin to live as the curious observer, life is no longer hard work. You climb off the emotional rollercoaster of being happy when life is working out how you want before crashing down into the depths of despair when things don’t go to plan. Instead you learn to be present to every event without judgment or the need to fix it. Without resistance, life moves with ease and flow. You recognise that every experience — the good, the bad and the ugly — will come to pass.
- Letting go of the need to know
We live in uncertain times. Life moves so quickly that any plans we create are out of date faster than the ink dries. In an unpredictable world, how can we figure out what will happen next?
One of the biggest myths of our current culture is the requirement of clarity and security for inner peace. We find bliss not through controlling the unfolding of life but through our willingness to get comfortable with the discomfort of uncertainty. When you surrender to not knowing, you find the doorway to the life you seek.
Are you willing to not know long enough for something amazing to emerge?
- Letting go of the need for approval
The need for approval keeps us stuck and prevents us from stepping out and being our authentic self —we are too worried about what others think of us. If we care excessively about the judgments of others and allow that to dictate our feelings of self-worth, we are only as good as the last person’s opinion of us.
Letting go of seeking approval means finding your own value, releasing the need to constantly try and improve who you are and seeking the perfection in all of your wonderful imperfections. Please know that you being you is enough — all ways!
Do you really need the applause of an audience to find the pure love in your heart?
Would you like to learn the fine art of letting go? Join me for my next Opening to Love workshop.