This week, I was asked a question by a delegate on one of my webinars. I didn’t get a chance to answer it live, but it is such a common and important theme, I wanted to follow up by providing my take on the situation. What I offer is just food for thought with the intent to change perceptions. There is never a right or wrong answer. Any time we expand our awareness of a situation, we allow new information to come in and our inner guidance will gently nudge us in the right direction. Remember, it is always (in all ways) happening perfectly!
Delegate: “For some time I have been moving towards a new way of life and of making a living. The pace has increased recently as my small steps have become big steps, but as this happens, my current life and the most important people in it seem to be fighting back…. Help!”
First of all, a huge congratulations for stepping forward in your life. Before we go any further, have you paused to pat yourself on the back? In my experience, we can be too quick to criticise and berate ourselves for not doing something, yet less inclined to celebrate and reward ourselves for our progress. You say that your small steps have become big steps and if they feel exciting and joyful for you, then it is time to pop the champagne corks. You are in your flow my dear friend.
So here is what I would like you to do next. Pull all of your attention back from the other people in your life. When we care so deeply, perhaps too deeply, about the impact our decisions and actions have on others, it is too easy to lose sight of our own journey. As Byron Katie so beautifully explains it, when we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we are in their business. And when we are over there in their business, there is no one at home to take care of our business. Bring yourself home to you because that is the only place you can ever really be. Every time you are thinking about how this situation is affecting everyone else, just gently ask yourself “Whose business am I in?” Make sure you are at home!
From this place, now take time to reflect on the changes you are going through. I want you to take a deep breath and tune into your feelings. What are you experiencing right now? Do you feel excited, inspired or free? Do you feel driven, tired or that you are efforting? Find your own words, but know that the distinction is important. If our feelings fall into the first category, lets call it “uplifted”, then you are right on track. You are moving with your flow and being supported along the way. I’d say, keep doing what you are doing. When you are taking inspired action from a place of alignment, you can guarantee that it will work out beautifully.
If your feelings fall into the second category, lets call that “struggle”, then its likely you are going against the flow. And when you try to push the river, it will feel like hard work. Often, its not that we feel one way or the other but more that we have a mixed vibe. We can feel uplifted one minute and struggle the next, but the good news is that in either of these situations, the solution is the same.
Take some time to ask yourself what fears you are holding? If you are struggling, they will be there, we just need to find them. Our fear gremlins are masters of disguise and will have cunning ways of leading you off track. For example, fear can manifest mentally as limiting beliefs (What I am or am not capable of), emotionally as rebound emotions (perhaps anger or boredom), or even physically (as illness or accidents). So what fears do you have about this situation? Meditate on this question and see what bubbles up for you. When these fear gremlins reveal themselves to you, I want you to treat them like little messengers who have come to help you on your path. The trouble with fear is that most of us want it to just disappear so we try to run from it or avoid it. But fear is our own creation. At some point in our lives, when we were feeling threatened or scared, we employed a gremlin and assigned them the role of letting us know any time a similar situation cropped up. So this fear gremlin has been faithfully doing as we requested, yet we have been doing everything we can to ignore the messages. Instead, turn to greet any fear gremlins and welcome them with open arms. Ask them for their message and soothe their concerns. Find ways to make peace with any fear by gently challenging the concept. Whatever you notice.. ask “is it true? Can I know that this will or won’t happen”. The answer will always be “no”!
Now you may be thinking “what about the other people in my life, how do I get them onside?“. Here is the best bit. As you embrace your fear gremlins and send them love, the situation and relationships will magically transform. That’s right, you don’t need to do a thing! Why? Because the stuff on the outside was only ever a mirror for you inner world anyway! Those people or experiences that have been getting in the way were simply reflecting the parts of you that weren’t yet in complete alignment. It’s what Gill Edwards called “The Discouragement Committee”. These wonderful people were just a manifestation of any inner turmoil, checking in to ensure every aspect of YOU was onside! Ever notice that in convincing someone else that you know what you are doing, you find the person who needs the most convincing is really you? Otherwise, you would simply nod, thank them and move on!
As you take care of all of you, loving your fears and reassuring those aspects inside that may not quite be lined up yet, things will all fall into place. Then you realise, it was only ever about you in the first place. The universe is always on your side!