A couple of days ago I was sent the link to a movie called Hungry For Change. It was about the third or fourth time that I had heard about the film from separate sources. One of my life philosophies is to pay attention to the nudges from the Universe, so I (finally) took note and decided there must be a message in the film for me. That evening, my husband and I sat down to watch the downloaded movie. What I didn’t expect was the emotional reaction I had to the film. I am sure many people will be intrigued, maybe even a tad concerned, by the information shared by some of the top experts in health, nutrition and wellbeing. There was certainly plenty of food for thought (pun intended)! It was also inspiring to hear real stories from people who have succeeded in making significant changes to their lifestyle and are reaping the benefits of vitality and energy. For that reason only, I would highly recommend watching the film. And I thought that was why I was drawn to watch it— after all a little extra energy would always be welcomed, wouldn’t it?

Yet my response was much more extreme than I expected. After the film ended, I found myself sobbing. Yet I cannot fully explain the feelings I was experiencing— Some sort of emotional cocktail of sadness, grief, truth and relief.  Whatever it was, it was powerful and those high intensity reactions are usually a good indication that I am ripe for personal transformation. Over the years I have come to learn that the greatest benefit comes from being present to what I am feeling, without trying to fix or avoid it. Although not a comfortable experience, a clear and profound message began to bubble up inside of me.

To my dismay, what I discovered was an immense inner conflict between my body and mind. Over my lifetime, and completely unconsciously, I have slowly attacked my body. It started at school with small criticisms— I would see the leaner and slimmer girls and in comparison, start to berate my wider hips and my fuller thighs. And so it began. Two and a half decades and two children later, and the reasons to condemn my body shape have multiplied one hundred fold. I wasn’t even aware of the negative judgments I passed on my body when I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. All along, I thought I was living in a degree of harmony with my body — I eat well, I exercise regularly, I thought I was taking care of myself. Yet deep down, I was a constant critic and my body was calling for mercy. I could no longer ignore its screams of “Why do you hate me so much?”

My emotional reaction now made sense. My body had found a way to get my attention and I was ready to listen. I asked my body to share what it wanted and I tuned in with open ears to everything it wanted to say. I came to know the difficult journey my body had shared with me. I had attacked the part of me that had so lovingly been there for me – breathing, digesting, healing and carrying. I wonder how many friends would have been so loyal in the face of such cruelty.

Not surprisingly, I have never been into particular health fads unless I thought they would alter my shape to conform to the stereotypical body beautiful. A few days ago, I would have absolutely dismissed any form of inside-out approach as pointless. Yet here I am today with the determination and commitment to give my body exactly what it needs. And together, we are starting a 7-day juice detoxification routine.

I fully expect that this cleansing approach will increase my wellbeing, vitality and energy and I am looking forward to all of those benefits. But most of all, I am already experiencing the delicious feeling of harmony and unity between body and mind, and there is nothing that could ever top that.