Living an Inspired Life Blog

Body Forgiveness

tiffany_k — Thu, 10 May 2012 13:43:19 +0000

A couple of days ago I was sent the link to a movie called Hungry For Change. It was about the third or fourth time that I had heard about the film from separate sources. One of my life philosophies is to pay attention to the nudges from the Universe, so I (finally) took note and decided there must be a message in the film for me. That evening, my husband and I sat down to watch the downloaded movie. What I didn’t expect was the emotional reaction I had to the film. I am sure many people will be intrigued, maybe even a tad concerned, by the information shared by some of the top experts in health, nutrition and wellbeing. There was certainly plenty of food for thought (pun intended)! It was also inspiring to hear real stories from people who have succeeded in making significant changes to their lifestyle and are reaping the benefits of vitality and energy. For that reason only, I would highly recommend watching the film. And I thought that was why I was drawn to watch it— after all a little extra energy would always be welcomed, wouldn’t it?

Yet my response was much more extreme than I expected. After the film ended, I found myself sobbing. Yet I cannot fully explain the feelings I was experiencing— Some sort of emotional cocktail of sadness, grief, truth and relief. Whatever it was, it was powerful and those high intensity reactions are usually a good indication that I am ripe for personal transformation. Over the years I have come to learn that the greatest benefit comes from being present to what I am feeling, without trying to fix or avoid it. Although not a comfortable experience, a clear and profound message began to bubble up inside of me.

To my dismay, what I discovered was an immense inner conflict between my body and mind. Over my lifetime, and completely unconsciously, I have slowly attacked my body. It started at school with small criticisms— I would see the leaner and slimmer girls and in comparison, start to berate my wider hips and my fuller thighs. And so it began. Two and a half decades and two children later, and the reasons to condemn my body shape have multiplied one hundred fold. I wasn’t even aware of the negative judgments I passed on my body when I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. All along, I thought I was living in a degree of harmony with my body — I eat well, I exercise regularly, I thought I was taking care of myself. Yet deep down, I was a constant critic and my body was calling for mercy. I could no longer ignore its screams of “Why do you hate me so much?”

My emotional reaction now made sense. My body had found a way to get my attention and I was ready to listen. I asked my body to share what it wanted and I tuned in with open ears to everything it wanted to say. I came to know the difficult journey my body had shared with me. I had attacked the part of me that had so lovingly been there for me – breathing, digesting, healing and carrying. I wonder how many friends would have been so loyal in the face of such cruelty.

Not surprisingly, I have never been into particular health fads unless I thought they would alter my shape to conform to the stereotypical body beautiful. A few days ago, I would have absolutely dismissed any form of inside-out approach as pointless. Yet here I am today with the determination and commitment to give my body exactly what it needs. And together, we are starting a 7-day juice detoxification routine. (I have started a blog to record my journey and if you want to follow my progress, you will find it here)

I fully expect that this cleansing approach will increase my wellbeing, vitality and energy and I am looking forward to all of those benefits. But most of all, I am already experiencing the delicious feeling of harmony and unity between body and mind, and there is nothing that could ever top that.

If you are interested in finding out more about how you can increase your energy and vitality, you can get a free energy assessment courtesy of The Energy Coach. Just click here for more information.

The world is your mirror

tiffany_k — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 09:34:36 +0000

Have you ever bumped into someone, perhaps in the street or at an event and thought that you knew them? Your mind searches frantically through your personal history trying to find a memory to identify them. You scan their face for inspiration - Those eyes, that smile, the way those lines track their knowledge and wisdom. You know that you know them. Yet to no avail. You smile an uneasy grin of acknowledgment and they reciprocate and you pass on by.

Sometimes the memory returns and you are able to place them, at an event or on a particular date. “That’s it, of course!”, you whisper to yourself. But sometimes not. Sometimes the moment passes and they are gone, soon to be forgotten and strangers once more.

Do you remember me? Perhaps we haven’t formally met but I feel like I know you. I don’t mean I know the you that goes about your daily business. You have many friends, family and colleagues who know those aspects of you. I mean at a deeper level. Because fundamentally, we are all intertwined. The energy that creates worlds and makes up you also flows through me. So when I look at you, I see the reflection of all of me radiating back.

This is what we forget. We mistakenly believe that we are separate individuals in a random world rather than energy beings deeply connected in a perfect universe . We fail to remember that in each and every interaction, each person mirrors back the essence of the other. When I see aspects of you that I don’t like, I find my shadow that I am denying. When I experience deep appreciation of your best qualities, these are the parts of me that I am repressing. All of these reflections are really just ways of pointing us back home.

Sometimes I falsely believe that when you say and do something that causes me pain and suffering, it is because you have something against me. Perhaps I seek to defend and protect, rather than looking within to all the many ways in which I hurt myself every day. And should I try to control the people around me to fulfil my wants and desires, ultimately I am the only person who feels manipulated.

When we treat the world as a mirror, we take learn to responsibility for our interactions. We let go of blame and guilt because we realise that no one has any power over another. We are creating our own experiences, just as others create theirs. We take time to reach out and connect more deeply with those around us, in order that we can experience more fully the truth of who we are.

PS if you want to strengthen your connection with yourself, with others and with the universe, I have just uploaded a connection exercise that I did as part of the Your Life Two Programme and you can watch it here:

Slow down and see the roses

tiffany_k — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 11:58:38 +0000

I was extremely fortunate to attend the Hayhouse Writers workshop in London this weekend.

Nancy Levin

One of the authors, Nancy Levin, posed a question that has had a strange and lingering impact that I haven’t been able to shake off. She asked the question “What didn’t you see today?”

My mind was instantly curious. My logical and rational left-brain kicked in with a levelling retort, “How could I possibly know that which I had not seen?” This has to be true. Surely had I seen it, I would have known it, wouldn’t I?

But the other, wiser, infinitely expansive part of me seemed to understand differently. It had already begun to explore the depths of this question, “What didn’t I see today?”

Even then, I knew I could simply answer this question from a surface level. For I certainly didn’t see my son’s big blue eyes when I kissed his sleeping head goodbye. Nor did I see my supportive husband’s face when he drove away to a weekend in charge of four children and the challenges of juggling tennis lessons, football matches and homework projects. I am blessed to have his unfaltering encouragement as I move along this path.

But my soul called me to look even deeper, beyond the first or second or tenth answer that rose up inside of me. I wondered in how many different ways I had been blind to the world today. My answers took me to unchartered territory. It dawned on me that I take so much of my life for granted. I tend to breeze from day to day, treating every moment as the step to the place I am really trying to reach, rather than realising that in fact, I am already here.

So as I rushed along my path, trying to be somewhere else other than here, I missed so many – too many – of the gifts of life. I missed the views from the train window and the way that the early mist gently caressed the fields of newly emerging crops bringing reminders and a sense of optimism that all that seems to die will eventually be reborn. I missed the bravery on the man’s face as he faced rejection offering me a copy of the big issue in return for small change. I rushed on past. He has more courage than I have ever had. I know that now. I missed the delicious joy of noticing the smiles on hundreds of new faces, people I didn’t yet know but brought together for a common and collective purpose. So much to witness and bask in, yet I missed it all.

I didn’t forget to smell the roses so much as I moved by so fast that I didn’t even notice they were there. But now I know it wouldn’t take much. A willingness to slow down and just open my eyes. To bring my awareness to where I am rather than analysing what has happened or figuring out where I am headed. Without awareness of what we are missing, all of life’s riches will just pass us by. So what will you see today? Let the question point you towards your roses. See the beauty and miracles in what you are already living and relish in the wonder of life.

To find out more and to buy her book of inspirational poetry, check out Nancy’s website http://www.nancylevin.com

Getting the Universe Onside!

tiffany_k — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 11:03:45 +0000

This week, I was asked a question by a delegate on one of my webinars. I didn’t get a chance to answer it live, but it is such a common and important theme, I wanted to follow up by providing my take on the situation. What I offer is just food for thought with the intent to change perceptions. There is never a right or wrong answer. Any time we expand our awareness of a situation, we allow new information to come in and our inner guidance will gently nudge us in the right direction. Remember, it is always (in all ways) happening perfectly!

Delegate: “For some time I have been moving towards a new way of life and of making a living. The pace has increased recently as my small steps have become big steps, but as this happens, my current life and the most important people in it seem to be fighting back…. Help!”

First of all, a huge congratulations for stepping forward in your life. Before we go any further, have you paused to pat yourself on the back? In my experience, we can be too quick to criticise and berate ourselves for not doing something, yet less inclined to celebrate and reward ourselves for our progress. You say that your small steps have become big steps and if they feel exciting and joyful for you, then it is time to pop the champagne corks. You are in your flow my dear friend.

So here is what I would like you to do next. Pull all of your attention back from the other people in your life. When we care so deeply, perhaps too deeply, about the impact our decisions and actions have on others, it is too easy to lose sight of our own journey. As Byron Katie so beautifully explains it, when we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we are in their business. And when we are over there in their business, there is no one at home to take care of our business. Bring yourself home to you because that is the only place you can ever really be. Every time you are thinking about how this situation is affecting everyone else, just gently ask yourself “Whose business am I in?” Make sure you are at home!

From this place, now take time to reflect on the changes you are going through. I want you to take a deep breath and tune into your feelings. What are you experiencing right now? Do you feel excited, inspired or free? Do you feel driven, tired or that you are efforting? Find your own words, but know that the distinction is important. If our feelings fall into the first category, lets call it “uplifted”, then you are right on track. You are moving with your flow and being supported along the way. I’d say, keep doing what you are doing. When you are taking inspired action from a place of alignment, you can guarantee that it will work out beautifully.

If your feelings fall into the second category, lets call that “struggle”, then its likely you are going against the flow. And when you try to push the river, it will feel like hard work. Often, its not that we feel one way or the other but more that we have a mixed vibe. We can feel uplifted one minute and struggle the next, but the good news is that in either of these situations, the solution is the same.

Take some time to ask yourself what fears you are holding? If you are struggling, they will be there, we just need to find them. Our fear gremlins are masters of disguise and will have cunning ways of leading you off track. For example, fear can manifest mentally as limiting beliefs (What I am or am not capable of), emotionally as rebound emotions (perhaps anger or boredom), or even physically (as illness or accidents). So what fears do you have about this situation? Meditate on this question and see what bubbles up for you. When these fear gremlins reveal themselves to you, I want you to treat them like little messengers who have come to help you on your path. The trouble with fear is that most of us want it to just disappear so we try to run from it or avoid it. But fear is our own creation. At some point in our lives, when we were feeling threatened or scared, we employed a gremlin and assigned them the role of letting us know any time a similar situation cropped up. So this fear gremlin has been faithfully doing as we requested, yet we have been doing everything we can to ignore the messages. Instead, turn to greet any fear gremlins and welcome them with open arms. Ask them for their message and soothe their concerns. Find ways to make peace with any fear by gently challenging the concept. Whatever you notice.. ask “is it true? Can I know that this will or won’t happen”. The answer will always be “no”!

Now you may be thinking “what about the other people in my life, how do I get them onside?“. Here is the best bit. As you embrace your fear gremlins and send them love, the situation and relationships will magically transform. That’s right, you don’t need to do a thing! Why? Because the stuff on the outside was only ever a mirror for you inner world anyway! Those people or experiences that have been getting in the way were simply reflecting the parts of you that weren’t yet in complete alignment. It’s what Gill Edwards called “The Discouragement Committee”. These wonderful people were just a manifestation of any inner turmoil, checking in to ensure every aspect of YOU was onside! Ever notice that in convincing someone else that you know what you are doing, you find the person who needs the most convincing is really you? Otherwise, you would simply nod, thank them and move on!

As you take care of all of you, loving your fears and reassuring those aspects inside that may not quite be lined up yet, things will all fall into place. Then you realise, it was only ever about you in the first place. The universe is always on your side!

Surrendering and Letting Go….

tiffany_k — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 15:08:52 +0000

The natural cycles of life take us through birth, living and eventually dying. Just like all of mother nature’s gifts, we follow this cycle; its part of being human. Yet the cycle doesn’t just happen on the macro level. Within our lifespans, we will experience this cycle of deconstruction, transformation and re-birth many times. Those parts of ourselves that we have outgrown will slip away and the old will make way for the new. This isn’t always a comfortable experience, because we need to be willing to let go of things we love or have worked hard for, to clear a space for new beginnings. It can sound wonderful yet in reality, it can be scary and unsettling to be willing to give up so much and face the uncertainty of not knowing what lies around the corner.

Unfortunately, there are no short cuts to this process. In fact, when we try to resist the changes, we end up prolonging the process and make it even more uncomfortable for ourselves. We need to recognise that everything in life is transient. Whatever we try to hold on to tightly, ends up slipping through our fingers. Instead, it is the willingness to just be present to our fears of what might happen when we do let go. Rather than trying to hide our head in the sand and wish the changes wouldn’t happen, facing our fears and allowing ourselves to have the experience is the only path through.

We may not be able to change our circumstances or control the outcome but we can take care of ourselves. We can turn to face our fears with compassion and understanding. We can reassure those frightened parts of ourselves that even though the future is uncertain, we will always be ok. No situation has ever caused the world to stop spinning, so no matter how dire it may seem, all evidence suggests that you will be ok. Faith and trust may be all we have, but they are all we really need.

Letting go is not giving up. Letting go is choosing to surrender to what is. Letting go is embracing the current uncertainty long enough that something new can emerge. When we let go, we turn it over to the powers that be. We accept and make peace with what is. We move from resistance to allowing. The reward for our courage is not about what comes next, but the joy of our own evolution. In letting go, we discover the truth of who we really are. And that is always worth surrendering to.

Effective Use of the Rear View Mirror of Life!

tiffany_k — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 20:26:48 +0000

Hindsight is a wonderful thing… is it not? We have all had those moments of realisation when we know that if we had perhaps done things in another way, chosen another path, or made a better decision, life might have unfolded very differently. Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, blah, blah, blah! We can’t change what has past and lamenting the fact just saps our energy and confidence.

In order to experience regret, we need to have learnt something new. But somehow we lose sight of that in the moment. We forget that we were doing the best we could at the time with the knowledge, skills and experience available to us in the moment. We think we should have been able to predict the future or have known what we did not yet know. What a great way to tie ourselves up in knots and beat ourselves up for being dumb, stupid or whatever other derogatory term we find to self-blame.

We always want to keep most of our attention firmly focussed on where we are heading. Sure, there will be learnings along the way. But they are the fuel for forward momentum, not a reason to look back.

I recently had the opportunity to chat with the wonderful Kate Trafford, creator of the “Cruise Control : Your Guide to Effortless Success“. Our conversation steered onto the impact of hindsight, something that Kate so cleverly calls “driving whilst looking in your rear view mirror”. Kate made a wonderful distinction about the two occasions when it is useful to check your rear view mirror and for what information…and when it’s not!

Curious? You can listen in to a snippet of our conversation in this video…

Kate is one of the amazing line up of guest presenters for my new online course, Your Life Two which starts this week. The programme is to support you in identifying, creating and living your inspired life. You can find out more and sign up at http://tiffanykay.com/yourlifetwoinvite/

Kate Trafford is an expert in the area of effortless success. Kate was a winner in the Hayhouse Movers and Shakers competition for aspiring authors and speakers and is currently writing her first book, Cruise Control: Your Guide to Effortless Success. To find out more, visit her blog http://www.cruisecontrolforlife.com

Stop playing it small….

tiffany_k — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:15:33 +0000

Do you believe in yourself? I don’t mean the “yeah I suppose I am ok” type of flimsy confidence! I mean the true unwavering trust, faith and self-belief in who you are. I wonder how many of could say that we never experience moments of self-doubt or crises in confidence. Life tends to throw us a curve ball or two along the way that may plunge us into self-questioning and analysis which isn’t always helpful.

Whenever I hear people hold themselves back with their limiting patterns of thought, I am always curious about what the real issue is. Well disguised thoughts like “I couldn’t do that“or “that isn’t possible for me” usually translate into the real meaning of “I don’t know if I am capable enough” or “I don’t think I am intelligent enough“. Probe a little deeper and we always seem to end up arriving at the same underlying belief… “I am not good enough!”

So here is the breaking news… That belief is absolute poppycock! And it usually comes from our fear-based ego that wants to keep us safe in our comfort-zones. It worries about what might happen if we step out and express the truth of who we are. It can present countless examples as evidence of when our self-expression has led to a bad experience. Maybe we were laughed at, ridiculed, criticised or judged. There is a part of us that is scared and frightened of repeating unwanted experiences and so our ego would much prefer us to play it small, step back and shut up!

There’s just one flaw in that strategy. Our comfort zones aren’t static. If every time we approach the boundaries of familiarity, we pull back, then those walls start to close in. Before we know it, that comfort zone has become an ever decreasing and confining box that starts to feel claustrophobic.

There is only one thing we can do. We need to take the hand of our fearful ego, take a deep breath and go for it anyway! Then, not only do we keep expanding our comfort zones, but we also start to realise that all of the fears were unfounded anyway. If all goes well, you get a big boost to the ol’ confidence and self-belief. If all goes belly-up.. well maybe you’ll be laughed at and ridiculed or fall flat on your face… but you know what, you’ll get through it. You can pick yourself up, dust yourself down and feel the pride of knowing that you went for it anyway. I think a toddler learning to walk could teach us a thing or two about that!

Today I interviewed the wonderful Jules Wyman, Founder of The Confidence Garden. Jules is just one of the world-class guest presenters for the Your Life Two Programme starting on 20th February. Having spent most of her life living in self-doubt and no confidence, Jules has trodden the path to self-confidence and believes that confidence is possible for anyone looking for it! Visit her website http://www.theconfidencegarden.com. Your Life Two is for women who are stuck or facing big changes in their lives to help them to create their inspired life and find the happiness they deserve. To find out more and book your place. Visit the information page: http://www.yourlifetwo.com

When you hit a turning point.. which way should you turn?

tiffany_k — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:10:30 +0000

It happens to the best of us. Sometimes it creeps up on us, sometimes it appears out of the blue, sometimes it knocks us right off our feet! One moment we think we are on a certain path headed in the right direction, the next we find ourselves at a cross roads. Which way do you turn?

If we had the ability to predict outcomes, we could make a fortune telling people the right way to go (Turning-Points R Us perhaps?!). But unless you have fully mastered crystal-ball gazing, you cannot know for sure what the right way is. So weighing up the pros and cons, analysing and decision-making may seem like the best tools you’ve got.

But even then, the decision can hang precariously, especially when we conclude that our lives depend on choosing wisely and the balance sheet looks fairly even. The current climate of uncertainty does us no favours. The media has got many of us thinking that every decision will have major ripples on our life. No wonder so many of us are feeling stuck and fearful about rocking the boat!

If you find that pesky self-doubt is creeping into your life, it may keep you locked into patters, and a lifestyle that no longer serves you. Sometimes, that boat needs more than a good rock, you need to jump ship.

So if your life is no longer floating your boat, perhaps it is time for a change. Turning points often end up being stepping stones to a whole new life, and a whole new you. Rather that resisting those changes, a move in any direction can open up a whole new world!

I have created a three part video series to help you discover who you are, what you want and a plan for re-creating your life so you can find the happiness you truly deserve. As you will see from the videos, they are mainly aimed at women, but they guys amongst us may find a golden nugget or a-ha moment along the way, or you may want to share this with your female family and friends.

There’s no charge for the training, simply opt in and the videos are yours! Check it out here.

Free Yourself!

tiffany_k — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 10:54:39 +0000

From an early age, we are taught to obey the rules. In childhood, much of our positive reinforcement from parents, teachers and well-meaning adults, is for behaving well and doing things right. They claim that we are “good boys” or “good girls” when our actions measure up to their expectations.

There are laws that are worth abiding to. Simply because they make our path through life easier and foster good relationships in our communities (although I do sometimes question whether we wouldn’t naturally live within those boundaries were we left to our own devices!) But there are other rules that we treat as if they are law rather than being aware that we are responding to the cultural norms of society.

These relate to parenting, careers and our leisure time for example. If we allow ourselves to become too boxed in by the norms, we may find that we are living the 9 to 5, 2.4 children, 2 week summer vacation model. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to live that way, but if you don’t regularly feel the thrill of excitement, passion and joy flowing through your life, there is a good chance that you are living someone else’s choices rather than your own inspired life.

So when was the last time you broke the rules. I’m not advocating law-breaking (prison would definitely shake things up but probably not in an uplifting way!) but rather the idea that we wake up to all of the possibilities. Who says you need to conform? Don’t you know what is best for you?

Start to experiment by stepping outside of your comfort zone. Maybe you want to dye your hair a different colour, or wear bright clothes, or eat jam and marmite sandwiches! Perhaps you could take a different route to work, holiday in an unchartered destination or take up belly-dancing?

Be inspired by other people who are doing it differently! The unstoppable family are one such example. Brian and Rhonda Swan have been traveling the world for almost three years with their daughter Hanalei. Their Endless Summer Journey has taken them to countries all over the world, including Hawaii, Mexico, Nicaragua, Bali, Australia, Peru and Brazil- to name just a few! As top income earners with LifePath Unlimited, they have been able to ditch the corporate rat-race and live a luxury traveling lifestyle with their mobile business. Read their story here.

And if you find yourself slipping into the “they can do it but I can’t” pattern, then you may need some help to expand your horizons. Every so often, I come across a book that I believe is potentially life-changing! Enter “Get Out While You Can” by George Marshall. He brilliantly describes what he calls Plan A and Plan B. Plan A consists of working hard at school, securing a good job, setting your sights on promotion, climbing the corporate ladder and living happily ever after… or not because the reality is often long hours made longer by commuting, insufficient wages and lifelong debt! Plan B transforms the playing field. In Plan B, Marshall offers a completely different approach where you get to create a life by design and instead of following cultural norms, you find a lifestyle that allows you to live the dream now… so why wait? It may be a lot easier than you think. Find out more and order your copy here.

Does it even matter?

tiffany_k — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:12:37 +0000

Have you ever stopped to consider why you do what you do? I want you to take a good look at all aspects of your life. What do you notice? Every part of your life now, was once a choice. And when you were deciding what to choose, you will have had reasons for following that particular path. So how connected are you to those reasons right now? Or do you sometimes feel like you are just going through the motions?

I ask for a very good reason. I have just been doing some marketing training with Frank Kern (well worth a Google if you haven’t come across him before!). What struck me most in his presentations is his absolute clarity of knowing why he does what he does. And now I can’t but help ask myself “why am I doing all of this, and does it even matter?”

The answer comes immediately and is a whole hearted yes! Living an Inspired Life isn’t a job or a brand, it is a way of being in the world. It is the scrumptious and juicy passion that comes from being alive.. and awake! Of course there are some bumps along the way – that is the diversity that creates depth and richness to our experiences. But I get to do work that I love, with people that I love and make an income and hopefully a difference along the way!

So what about you? Why do you do what you do? If you know your purpose and it fires you up, keep doing what you are doing, but if your response either falls in the “not really sure” category or anything in the vicinity of “it pays the bills“, then you are not yet Living an Inspired Life!

Would you like it to be different? Then it is time to tap into your purpose!

Here are some power questions that you may want to consider:

If you knew that success was the only option, what would you do?
If you could be or do or have anything that you want, what would it be?
If money was no object, then what would you choose?

You don’t need to have instant answers. In fact, it works even better to allow these to naturally evolve. You may be surprised at the ideas that pop up!

I think having a purpose is the inspirational force in our lives. It doesn’t have to be grand designs, sometimes the smallest steps are the most effective. You don’t need to be anything else than the authentic, real and inspired version of you – that is what will make the biggest difference! That is all that really matters!

PS I created a short video on Leaving Your Legacy… Just a reminder to be who you are and make your unique contribution to the world! Enjoy